Let's Apply It

Here is my first attempt at a discussion.

Let's take this idea of Unity and apply it to Jon and Kate as our case study. In doing this we are making a lot of assumptions. We are assuming 1. that Jon and Kate are believers, 2. that Jon and Kate believe God brought them together, and 3. that Jon and Kate believe/believed that God wanted their marriage to be a reflection of the church. In doing this we are also only able to use what we have been given on the show and the media some of which may or may not be true and may or may not be "reality".

Someone said to me recently that they thought that Jon was okay with Kate "ruling the roost" until the show started getting really popular. When it got more popular, this person believes that people started pointing out Kate's faults (divisiveness) to Jon and thus started a spiral. Don't we find our partners faults enough on our own? Imagine if the media joins in the game. Thus, Unity was broken.

I suggest that Jon and Kate were more unified in the early shows. They had to be. They were both working and they had to rely on each other much more heavily to get things done. They had to stay united to remain in control. As the show progressed, they received more help, and needed each other less. When this happened, they didn't make it a priority to continue fostering their unity.

I also suggest that their communication skills began to deteriorate as their unity did. They go hand in hand. I saw a pretty good example of communication on one of the early shows. It was the Christmas shopping episode. Here they all were in the toy store shopping for everyone in the family. Kate was stressed as usual. Jon felt that he was doing his part. At one point Kate began yelling rather loudly to Jon across several aisles. Now, for the good communication. Outside when they were loading the car Jon expressed his feelings to Kate. He said something like he felt very embarrassed when she yelled at him like that and that he felt like she was treating him like a child in front of the whole store. She responded in a very positive manner and I believe they allowed us to see something close to an apology. The best communication and conflict resolution I saw from them. A true unity builder.

On every episode, Jon and Kate share their thoughts and feelings at the end of the show. The producers ask them questions and lead the discussion in the direction they want it to go. At times they just share funny stories about the kids. At times they share about their frustrations about their marriage (mostly Kate the talker). How can this ever unify a marriage? Sharing your grievances in front of everyone instead of with each other? Unity killer. Maybe they did set aside time to talk about the days events off camera, but from everything they said, this never happened.

Please feel free to share your thoughts or experiences from your own life.